I was thinking of maybe giving up songwriting. It’s just at the end of everyday, I check the stats and not many people are listening. I know a few people who would say it’s not about that, you do it for yourself. But not really, right? Thinking, that’s something you do for yourself. Or masturbating. But this is like talking to a wall.
But then..sometimes, like tonight, they keep me up. One, maybe two. They swirl around and around my head, melodies and fragments of sentences. Around and around, I can hear them, but moreso I can feel them, feel what they mean before they even make logical sense, they’re like a punch in the gut or elation, as if I was levitating out of bed.
I’m not a poor lost soul, I’m not a suffer for your art kind of gal. I live a very busy, full, well rounded life. But here I am, past 2am, and this song is so alive inside me as it has been since midnight. Doh. I would never ever wish it away, but nights like this are torture.