Rearranged. 2017.

Rearranged.  Access the mp3 by clicking link.

2017. Self-recorded.

I started this song about 17 years ago, and finished it this week.  So strange that the gates would open up after being stuck with a bass line and a few words for so many years. To be fair, I didn’t “labor” on it for 17 years…..It just remained on the “songs to finish” list that floats around in my head.  I jammed on it now and again. There’s a lot of those, and most of them go away. But this one I just couldn’t let go.

At that time in my life, I was in a bad place and I didn’t like who I’d become. My grandma would say, “Is that you, Farfel? I don’t recognize you anymore.”  She didn’t say I looked grown up, or pretty, or fat, or offer any specifics.  Even when I asked her, she couldn’t elaborate. It kind of gave me the creeps, and unconsciously confirmed that I not only changed for the worse, but others could see it.

For years, it was very hard to admit that the core lines I had were about self-loathing. I’d say, “oh, those words could apply to the political climate!”…and they could have…and I would have LOVED a political song…but…with that perspective, the song just didn’t budge.  I’m in a better place these days, and that may have made it easier to see it for what it is.

Also, there were a few cheesy words in there…”Perception Rearranged” was the original title, and not to self judge, or judge anyone else…but that’s so…eighties Foreigner….or …gulp…Starship.  It still has cheesy elements, in my opinion, but I’m kind of a nerd and mostly a pop writer anyway.  As much as ultra cheesy caused gridlock,  being pretentious would have too.

Musically, I wanted to make it something it’s not, and that was another block.  When I heard a great indie rock song,  I’d want to indie-rockify it. Or after bopping to a dance track, I’d want to dancify it. But the nature of the song, I originally felt, was pure unfettered SOUL. It reminded me of “Bill collectors at my door. What can you do for me?”, a sparsely produced bass heavy radio hit in the 1980’s. Of course to someone else it must sound singer-songwiter-ish, or as my wife suggested, white girl indie-ish.  However,  in my head, when I surrendered to the “soul music” theory,   I forgot that I’m a white gal with a barely decent singing voice and the music arrangement flowed.

Ah, and finally…I wrote the damn thing on a bass.  The temptation to write in 3-D was too great…Every time I’d play, my mind would build parts over it…and I was never able to get from a to z chronologically. THAT’S what really got me to finish:  Connecting the dots from beginning to end. It sounded awfully sparse and boring, but I had to end the damn thing, and worry about building on it later.  And i’m still not done with the building part!  Creating songs in a three dimensional style sometimes work, but this time it blocked me…for 17 years.

Today I added snare to “lift” the sparse verse, after a few days of failed attempts with a guitar part.

I’d LOVE a 1-2-3,  1-2-3, 1-2 snare elevating to a roll in the verse…so today I recorded  the 1-2-3 part, but the 2-3 is inaudible in the mix.  I could have tried a little longer to nab it myself, or get a drummer over here one day, but for now, I am working on about 10 other songs, two very immediately almost done.

Also, there’s so many temp tracks,  and the cpu of my PC is starting to drag, the playback and transport lag….So I will publish this as is and hope as a song someone will appreciate it or relate.  I’m not trying to be a rock star, just trying to do the best I can by myself for now.

Move on to the next music project. Final answer!