Last Sunday we went to a rooftop restaurant in Long Beach NJ called Daddy O’s. We sat for an hour and a half eating dinner and enjoying drinks. I loved the set list. Edgy, distortion driven. alternative. I tapped my fingers along, googling the choruses on my phone to see who the bands were. The Strokes. The Verve. Arcade Fire. (At least there’s one woman) Of course the fourth song in, I realized none of the singers were women. I said to my wife, “watch. I bet they won’t play one female band the whole time we’re here.” And hour and a half. I was right. I silently seethed for the rest of the night. What unconscious message for the little girls who were sitting two tables down? Those teenage girls out to eat with their family? The middle aged woman with crows feet who a long time ago played in Moxie Starpark? (me) Who piped this set list into the restaurant? A bartender? Management? Why couldn’t they feel the void? Or think of anyone in that genre to play? Florence And The Machine? The Yeah Yeah Yeahs? Hole?
This isn’t even a music industry dis. This is just one bar. It’s so hard to notice what’s missing, right? There is a clear lack of inclusion on so many levels.
It’s why when I hear white women say they are “using their white privilege” to stand up for the black lives matter movement, I get a tiny wave of nausea. Privilege? Do you mean EMPATHY? Because you yourself are completely excluded from so much. It’s truly great for one tribe to stand up for another regardless of the motivation, so I don’t not want to be overly critical.
Then this evening, almost the opposite happened. I saw the documentary about The GoGos. See. This. Movie. https://www.showtimeanytime.com/#play/3463368
And this is just a blog, not an op ed piece on feminist so I’m going to cut this short. Nobody is going to listen anyway. Even when I put this subject matter out there on a facebook or instagram post, two or three people click the like button. Very important people, mind you! But pardon this posts brevity, I’m not in the mood to waste my words.