Blog

For the second time, my Moxie Starpark archive journey unearthed a forgotten song. Joe Napoli stumbled on the first, “Unbroken Spirit”, collecting dust on a cassette tape in his studio. The second song was captured onto video tape by Bobby Heckman at a live show in 2000.

I received Bobby’s flash drive of video footage almost two weeks ago, the day before I left for a Cherry Grove family vacation. A beach gal to the core, I was in heaven, jogging and strolling through nature, lounging on the beach, or sipping coffee from the deck of the Ice Palace staring blankly at the Long Island Sound. My nights were filled with leisurely dinners, drag queen shows, catching up with my friend Linda who owns the ice cream shop.

The last thing I wanted to do was look at my computer. Yet this flash drive of unknown footage lured me to my laptop, late at night in that sliver of time between decompression and slumber. For starters, I posted each of five files to YouTube under the “private” setting so only Wendy could view.

I received a text from Wendy soon afterward. “What the fucking fuck is happening on the last one at The Downtown? At 19:50 and 37:40 we play songs I don’t recall, not even slightly familiar to me”…. The second one I remembered, “When You Were Alive”. It probably escaped Wendy’s recall because it lent itself better to country-folk arrangements. I played it more with my other bands, The Clam and The Pollynoses. But the first song? I had NO recollection. Wendy had no recollection. None of our fans ever mentioned it. For 20 years trading mix tapes, not a single person asked me if I had copies of that song.

The strange part was that I sang it. Which indicated that I wrote it. I’ve come across songs before and thought, “oh yeah! I forgot about that one.” But I never truly forget those songs. They just kind of fall out of my repertoire. They’re the ones I never practice or play, even to my dolls. Still, glancing at the mere title always jostles my memory. But YouTube reel 5 at timestamp 19:46? Absolutely no recollection.

Even stranger, at the risk of sounding conceited, was how good it was. Wendy and I really dug it. This was no side B “throw away”. I’m my own worst critic. Half the stuff I write because I’m propelled by some unknown force and I reach the point where I don’t know if I like it or not. I just need to create it. Yet here I was, a rare opportunity to experience a song as if it were someone else’s. To paraphrase Wendy, “it’s the best song I’ve ever heard!” To deflect taking 100% credit, a song is only as good as the band, and damn if Moxie Starpark didn’t crush it!

I revisited once or twice a night on the hotel bed. It took two nights, but aspects did come back. I remembered the song title was “Centerpiece”. I remember it was about wanting to be valued in a relationship for more than just appearance As in “I don’t want to be your centerpiece”. I remember the lyrics explored one day getting old, less attractive, with droopy tits. It was important that my partner (I believe in this instance, fictitious) appreciate my mind, heart and soul. And for some strange reason, I remember copyrighting it. Well, I can’t say foreseeing “getting old” is clairvoyant. Unless we die, we all age. But it’s so odd, as if my young self wrote a letter to my old self and I just came across the forgotten browning paper in a safe.

Hey, head’s up, I had to temporarily delete many of my songs from streaming platforms. I opted for all these “extra” features from my distribution service when I first streamed the songs. These extras included Shazam & tracking song usage in YouTube videos. Though they only cost a little more per song per year, it’s starting to add up $$$. The only way to get rid of the extra features is to completely delete the songs. If some of my material disappears from Apple Music, Spotify, YouTube, etc,, I want to reassure you that I’ll be uploading them again soon. This time, without these little costly extras. Absolutely nobody has Shazammed my songs, or used it in their YouTube Video, so it’s silly to continue to pay over $100 per year. Especially in this environment of economic inflation.

While in the process of going through my catalog, I came across this, one of the first I self-recorded and released. It was about 4 years ago. The photo is from then. I look older now, brunette, salty even. But it is true to the time. The song was actually written way back, about 1999, but only played a handful of times. Fast forward to about 2018. I tried to find a producer to record new and older un-recorded material. All my leads ghosted me. This one guy even told me I can’t really sing. However, another really sweet guy (he’s produced Big Thief) encouraged me to self-record. I already had this software Cubase, so kind of hunkered down and learned the bare minimum for this production. I played all the tracks, and sang the harmonies, too.

While in the process of going through my catalog, I came across this, one of the first I self-recorded and released. It was about 4 years ago. The photo is from then. I look older now, brunette, salty even. But it is true to the time. The song was written in about 1999, but only played a handful of times. Fast forward to about 2018. I tried to find a producer to record new and older un-recorded material. My producers leads ghosted me. This one guy basically told me I can’t really sing. However, another really sweet guy (he’s produced Big Thief) encouraged me to self-record. I already had this software Cubase, so kind of hunkered down and learned the bare minimum for this production. I played all the tracks, and sang the harmonies, too.

Hello! I go by my childhood nickname Fala La I’m a music artist with a passion for writing songs. If you are on this page of my website, chances are we met at Mr. Beery’s and you got a little piece of paper with a QR code. It also means that we pulled it off, after only 4 nerve wracking rehearsals, we played good enough to spark interest.

I guess you could say my claim to “not quite” fame was my stint in an all girl pop punk band called “Moxie Starpark”. In the late 1990’s/early 2000’s we played around NYC and Long Island. Though some press unfavorably compared our musical chops to Stevie Ray Vaughan, other publications ranging from Teen Beat to the Village Voice wrote “Moxie Resurrects Pop” and “up n’ comers” with Brittany Spears. Without backing from any record label, we eventually ran out of resources and enthusiasm and moved on to new projects. You can listen to The Moxie Starpark debut album, The Floor, on your fave stream service or check it out here on youtube. Songs on that album were featured on TV shows such as Dawson’s Creek and Party of Five. Though we broke up before we could release our second album, we recently “extracted” the songs from the old reel to reel tapes and are poised to release it over 20 years after it was professionally recorded at Cloud Nine Recording. The tracks are currently getting mixed by Jakob Leventhal.

Subscribe to my email list to stay updated on my projects, including Moxie Starpark’s upcoming album, my upcoming solo album, and random singles, as well as future shows with Jamie. I will also be releasing exclusive sneak peaks (music and old video clips) to the much anticipated Moxie Starpark album.

I’m in the middle of writing a new solo album. Like my solo album (*), I plan on self recording/ producing because I couldn’t find anyone to help me. I had no plans to play live, but Gerge invited me to play his farewell show, and HOW could I say no???? I asked an old music friend, multi instrumentalist & songwriter Jamie Gates, if she’d join me on drums, and was thrilled she wanted to! We’ve been having a blast descending into her basement/kids’ playroom/music space. We immediately knew that this partnership would last beyond this show.

Sirius XM 80’s station played Diana Ross’ song Muscles last night. It was the first time I’d heard it in years, and it inspired me to create a set list of un-apolgetic sex songs. Most are sultry with a slow tempo.

I left out the obvious “Sexual Healing” only because I’ve finally grown tired of it, at least for now. I thought Vanity 6’s Nasty Girls worked, but couldn’t find a decent Spotify version.

Most are pop (and popular!) top 40 songs. I imagine most people who predominantly consume pop culture/music may not know Lucida William’s song Righteously. Though grittier than the rest, the bass bounces like a cheap hotel mattress and the subject matter fits right in. I imagine Lucinda instructing Doug Pettibone to make his guitar buzz and hum like a vibrator. Of course, it probably didn’t play out that way.

As I finished the set list, I wondered if I had any songs that fit the bill, and thought of two. The first, “Hot, Hot, Hot” circa 1995 was never recorded, but I added “You Got Me Coming”, blessed by Katy from Wale’s vocals and included on Moxie StarPark’s cd “The Floor”.

Can you think of any songs that fit the bill? Please use this collaboration link to add them! I’d especially love to include any creations by my fellow songwriters! Don’t be shy!

Yet again, the entire hour I drove to work radio station Q104.3 did not play ONE female artist. So I made my own “classic rock” set list! I’m so happy it’s not 1995 and we can come up with our own little radio stations.

Awwww I just noticed they tweeted back and are receptive to playing more female artists!

Since noon we've played a workforce block (three songs) by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts at 12:30; Heart at 1:30; and Sheryl Crow at 3:35.

If you want to hear more female artist, please tell us which ones.

— Q104.3 (@Q1043) August 18, 2022

I want to reassure the Moxie Starpark backers that this project is well on it’s way to completion. I do have rough mixes of all the songs, so if the final mixes aren’t completed by the end of September, you will receive thumb drives of something slightly and only slightly more raw. The stage we are at is pretty much final. There are just very slight tweaks. People who’ve never heard the songs probably wouldn’t notice. Thank you for your patience. If you have any questions about why the process took longer than expected, feel free to reach out privately.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DzhP8CgVHdM

On Tuesday night, June 28th I was sitting on my couch decompressing from a busy day at work, contemplating what to eat for dinner. My wife was going to have the macaroni salad I’d made the night before. She loves the way I make it, but strangely it’s not my favorite dish. As I ran through food options in my mind, I began to shiver uncontrollably. And just like that, I had a high fever that I couldn’t kick for four days.

A home test the next day confirmed what I already knew. Covid. After over 2 years of miraculously avoiding it, it turns out I’m not invincible after all.

What changed? Maybe I can blame my recent public outings, having attended the mermaid and NYC pride parades, as well as a late night pride party at the Standard Hotel. I suspect I could have gotten it from a friend. In the height of my illness, he sent me a bizarre unsolicited email explaining that Covid was nothing more than a season flu, and the term was used by the media to stoke fear. Was there something more to this random anti covid rant? Was he trying to deflect that perhaps he and his family had this “seasonal flu” and he didn’t take care to protect his friends? It was useless to figure out. I could have contracted it from anywhere.

What changed was me. Four days before, the Supreme Court overturned Roe V. Wade and left me vulnerable and attenuated. I no longer mattered. I had no voice. And these people, these really religious people, had supreme power over me. This event became all consuming over my thoughts and emotions. I was at a loss over what to do ( I mean, really, what the fuck can I do?) and my now powerless being left my body defenseless. I got sick for the first time since 2019 when training for the NYC Marathon gave me a little head cold.

Covid got me very sick, fever spiking to 103.9 and dropping 5 lbs in 4 days fighting extreme, unrelenting nausea. It is not lost on me that some people wind up in the hospital on ventilators, and I’m beyond thankful that wasn’t my fate. Though the first four days I focused on simply not trying to vomit, by Saturday I felt enough respite that I could meditate on the very subject that got me so fucking sick in the first place. Women’s rights.

So many of us feel a loss for what to do. The establishment that should have protected us failed. It seemed useless to align myself with this party, or this organization, or donate here, or there. With NO disrespect to their efforts, I decided to continue as a lone wolf. Not that I want to be a lone wolf. Contacting organizations that exclude women seems like the most accessible and direct way that I personally can try to make a change. I feel alone because any social media posts summarizing my activities go unnoticed. Pictures of my kitty cat or the beef and broccoli I made in the instant pot garner 10 or 20 likes, while my feminist posts usually garner none.

These are some examples of how I try to illuminate the exclusion of women in media, music, sports and art. When I drive to work and notice a radio station only plays two women in the course of an hour, I call, email and post on their social media. I’m driven to act when I hear music pumping in a restaurant while eating dinner and not ONE artist is female. Pearl Jam followed by Aerosmith followed by Ed Sheehan followed by Van Halen. I mean these folks are reaching wayyyyy back into crappy fucking rock and roll history to avoid women, intentionally or not…where was I? Oh, i call the restaurant, and i find out who’s responsible for pumping the “modern muzak” through the sound system, then I call that company. Then there’s “Songwriter Magazine” who takes $30 from women and men to enter their “song lyric” contest, then only picks female winners 20% of the time. I went back and documented all their winners in a spread sheet. I’m not making it up. Some of the dude lyrics are horrible. Getting laid on the 50 yard line on a weeknight on the high school football field. Then they have the nerve to feature women songwriters in their ads soliciting for you to enter this trap. Ladies, save your money. It’s a female dead end.

Women’s RIGHTS need to be addressed, brought to light, as a SOLE focus. Yes, all lives matter, yes it also falls under an umbrella of human rights. But it is so pervasive, so swept under the rug, so under the radar for even the most progressive minded people. Not to mention that 50.5% of the population is female, so it effects the majority. We need to stop “bundling” it with other human issues, because in and of itself it deserves a LOT of time, energy, thought. And it’s actually REALLY EASY to pinpoint. Just notice what’s NOT there. Every time you hear your favorite news rattle off the male team wins in their sports segment, listen how they don’t report on women. What? women don’t play sports? I just saw a great wnba game, then soccer game on TV today.

And women, you have to stop excluding other women because their other agendas don’t match. Don’t disregard a woman because she loves Sanders, or Clinton, or she’s a democrat, or a communist or independent. The important thing is UNITY under the mission of FEMALE rights and voices. Whether you are a capitalist or a socialist, you need to unite. These ideals may seem at odds, but if YOU as a WOMAN don’t HAVE A VOICE, then it makes NO DIFFERENCE what you stand for. If you think otherwise, then your party and affiliation is USING YOU. They are USING YOUR commitment to YOUR rights and bundling it with their whole agenda.

Again women, I can’t stress this enough, don’t forget UNITY. I remember when I BEGGED the founder of the Michigan Womyn’s fest for my band to play back in the day. She grilled me on “what we did for feminism”. I explained that we had our own record label called 28 Days Records (named after the most feminine entity there is, the menstrual cycle). We endured the most unfair local press coverage, rock writers who compared us unfavorably to Steve Van Zandt, because we didn’t play our instruments as well. We wrote pretty decent songs encapsulating a uniquely female perspective. But this woman had had no intention of inviting us to play. She was toying with me. She already decided we weren’t feminist enough. She could have said the musical acts were already booked but instead went out of her way to make us feel unwelcome to HER feminist mission.

UNITY is something the Republicans have learned all too well. I am not idealistically aligned with any particular party, and as such, have friends of all affiliations. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m a Democrat but more as a strategic alignment, we’re not a perfect match) I am sometimes in awe with how many views I share with my Republican friends. Many of these women are 100% pro choice. I even know some sad circumstances where they themselves and/or their daughters have gotten abortions. If they were given a DIRECT say in the matter, they would NEVER support the overturning of Roe Vs. Wade. I’m sure they are horrified that their vote ultimately led to the overturn. But give them credit, the Republican party is great at UNITING people for political gain. Ultimately the extremists muted their moderate counterparts and weighed disproportionately on all smaller decisions leading to this major decision.

WOMEN, MOVING FORWARD, MAKE YOU A PRIORITY. If you are forced to put some other view aside for the sake of moving women’s rights forward, do it. It will all work out in the end, the other issues will come around. But DON’T say to yourself, “if i put these progressive issues first and fore most, it will work out in the end for women.” It won’t. The ONLY way to move our free will forward is to UNITE and FOCUS and PRIORITIZE WOMEN over all else.

As for me, I will continue to document and call out the blatant omission of women by radio station, sports newscasts, muzak, and on and on and on and on. Because this HUGE issue of Pro Choice is an issue of No Voice at the most granular level. And though I myself can’t overturn a supreme court decision, there IS something I can do, boiled down to little tasks. Document, call, email, post on social media when women are omitted. There is nothing that empowers me more than getting my own hands dirty in the soil of administrative duties. Even in the face of the most eviscerating public policy change, I feel a tinge of power.

If you look back on this blog, I usually meet creepy resistance. However, I once got the ear of John Montone at NYC’s premier 1010 news radio. And he called a meeting and the staff agreed to include more reporting on women’s sports! I will continue to write and produce songs on the subject. I know this is all falling on deaf ears. But if I could reach but ONE person, just ONE person, just ONE ONE ONE ONE ONE person and they make ONE observation of unfair representation of women, and just make ONE call, Just ONE call or email to that organization calling them out, just ONE social media post…..

Because women, we can no longer hide behind an organization, a party, an entity. We have to raise our voices as individuals and fight one battle at a time. You may ask yourself, who am I to say? I’m nobody really. One aging feminist songwriter who writes a blog that nobody reads and so has the smallest chance of making a change. As opposed to huge collectives and organizations like NOW & major political parties who have millions of dollars and resources and proved that they can’t make a change, either. The playing field has just been leveled and no time is better than now for all of us to fight collectively as individuals.

I’ve resisted joining Patreon.com until now, but have more creative financial needs than I can provide. Although we ran a successful kickstarter campaign the finish the Moxie Starpark album, I would love to maximize it’s reach. That includes upping the final “mastering” sheen to be radio and TV ready. I’d also like to market it. As a CMO, I’m confident a little budget will go a long way. I’d also like to “up” my game on my current solo album, and not worry about administrative costs such as copyrights.